Proof that God exists, and has a sense of humor?
By the Dean of Cincinnati
If there is anything that proves the existence of God, it is the history of the Mormons. And it shows that God is pretty damn funny, too.
Just think about it. Some guy with severe hallucinations thinks the Angel Moron, er, Moroni shows him gold plates with the Book of Mormon on it. In reality, The Book of Mormon is half copied from the King James bible, and half a really bad imitation.
But that's another story.
Then, these crazies decide that the Garden of Eden is somewhere near St. Louis.
Everyone realized these Mormons were crazy, and ran them out of town.
Here's where you really need to imagine...
There they were, in their covered wagons, trekking towards an unknown destination -- believing in the grace of God.
They were tired. They were running out of food.
They were running out of water.
They were thirsty.
Just imagine it, on the wagon, thirsty.
Image what it feels like to have a really scratchy throat. You just want a drink. Something to coat that dryness. Anything.
How good that first swallow feels!
How refreshing!
But anyway, there are our thirsty Mormons. Suddenly, they see something shimmering on the horizon.
Water!
Imagine their thrill! How they thanked their God! How they ran towards the shores with their minds filled with images of Eden!
How they dipped their thirsty hands into the water, cupped their palms, and lifted the liquid to their cracked lips...
Salt water!
(That's the "God has a sense of humor" part...)
That the Mormons built an empire on a salt lake is another testament to the power of being stubborn.
If there is anything that proves the existence of God, it is the history of the Mormons. And it shows that God is pretty damn funny, too.
Just think about it. Some guy with severe hallucinations thinks the Angel Moron, er, Moroni shows him gold plates with the Book of Mormon on it. In reality, The Book of Mormon is half copied from the King James bible, and half a really bad imitation.
But that's another story.
Then, these crazies decide that the Garden of Eden is somewhere near St. Louis.
Everyone realized these Mormons were crazy, and ran them out of town.
Here's where you really need to imagine...
There they were, in their covered wagons, trekking towards an unknown destination -- believing in the grace of God.
They were tired. They were running out of food.
They were running out of water.
They were thirsty.
Just imagine it, on the wagon, thirsty.
Image what it feels like to have a really scratchy throat. You just want a drink. Something to coat that dryness. Anything.
How good that first swallow feels!
How refreshing!
But anyway, there are our thirsty Mormons. Suddenly, they see something shimmering on the horizon.
Water!
Imagine their thrill! How they thanked their God! How they ran towards the shores with their minds filled with images of Eden!
How they dipped their thirsty hands into the water, cupped their palms, and lifted the liquid to their cracked lips...
Salt water!
(That's the "God has a sense of humor" part...)
That the Mormons built an empire on a salt lake is another testament to the power of being stubborn.
Moving there to get away from persecution and ignorance...the fact that they did build this lush, prosperous empire around a desert and a salt lake is a "testament" in itself...not quite humerous, but a miracle. Once again proof that they are hard working, determined people.
(btw, there are many freshwater clear lakes and rivers around the area)
Posted by Jacqueline Henretta | 1:47 AM
You write like it's ignorant to have no tolerance for Mormons. I think that a mark of high intelligence.
I mean, just take this Eden thing. Genesis chapter 2 clearly states that Eden is between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers -- modern day Iraq.
But the Mormons just decide to put in near St. Louis.
Now, let's consider this from the perspective that all religions are fiction, just for argument.
Consider this example...
That in a few hundred years, a new religion emerges that worships Huck Finn. Their icon is a raft, and the Mississippi is the holiest of rivers. Mark Twain is their god, and Huck Finn their holy book.
Imagine that this goes on for thousands upon thousands of years.
Then, one day, some guy gets a vision and decides that the whole thing really happened on the Nile River.
You know what I would call that guy? Crazy. Huck Finn went up the Mississippi, even if the whole thing is made up.
Eden is not in St. Louis.
Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati | 6:19 AM
How can you claim to know where this town of Eden is located based on what one person decided to write down vs. another? The bible was indeed written by human beings just like the book of Mormon. I don't understand how you can claim that one holds more truth than the next.
Posted by Maureen | 10:54 PM
The only reason anyone knows about "Eden" is because it was written in a story from the Middle-East from the Ancient world. That story names its location.
I mean, this is like me deciding that the Ohio river is really The Nile river. After all, maps are just written by humans.
I think they got the map wrong.
Have you climbed to the top of the Purple People Bridge yet? The view of the Nile from that vantage point is divine.
Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati | 7:00 AM
Oh, BTW... There never was a garden of Eden... The whole thing is made up...
If you believe otherwise, well, I wonder on what corner in St. Louis I can find that angel with the flaming sword garding the entrance...
Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati | 7:02 AM
I don't believe any of it. I am atheist. I just thought you were saying that the bible was more right than the book of mormom. Sorry if I misunderstood.
Posted by Maureen | 1:26 PM
It IS "more right" if you think from an anthesitic perspective. From your view, Genesis must be pure fiction -- something a writer invented thousands of years ago.
How, then, can someone just decide to change the story?
That's the point of my Nile River analogy.
Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati | 3:06 PM